” No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.” – Robert Southey
I’m one of a lucky woman who has friends around the world and even though we don’t regularly get in touch, we know deep in our heart we care for each other. Adora is one of the few I cherished. No matter how far we lived apart or how many years we haven’t seen each other, the bond we have, remained the same. We don’t even chat regularly, hahaha I know 🙂 with the advent of different social media, we just don’t! She just chat in whenever she likes to, I replied whenever… no pressure..no trick 🙂 But we know if one is needed, all ears and all day we’re for each other.
It’s about an hour drive from her place to mine, She drove early morning just to pick me up so we can see the golden sunrise at Makapu’u. It opens at 6 am, so we decided to have coffee and bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. GPS calculated we will be there in 30 minutes, just on time as the sun rises up!
Did we got on time?
We got lost!
Believe it or not, I think the address she put on GPS was a mistake! But it’s ok, we have all day to figure it out 😊 we just enjoyed the ride and eventually we got to our destination!
Makapu’u point lighthouse hiking trail – located at the southeastern part of Oahu, is an easy hike with a moderate inclined to 657 ft summit. It is also known as Kaiwi scenic shoreline. Theres no shady trees but its alright, it was a beautiful day to begin with. if we don’t stop often times to take photos we would easily reach the top within 30 min.
These trails are paved from parking lot to the top so, it’s really an easy way to the top, We’ve seen babies on stroller ( a good exercise for mom) men with dogs and little kids running. Awesome scenery, seeing the coastal view towards the Koko head.
The lighthouse is off-limits but we can still view it from the top.
and the breathtaking views of Makapu’u Beach and the beginning of the Windward coast.
To infinity and beyond…
“A friend is the one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare
Yep! She did her wedding cake, simple with Edge in her mind, He loves her red velvet cake.
There is no bridesmaid and flower girl but of course, I have my youngest son who became the ring / bible bearer plus he is also the best man 🙂 all in one! The guest includes the family and closest friends of the couple. Pastor Glen officiated the ceremony at Tahanan Bistro in Antipolo.
Photo credit: Kevin Suarez
It’s ok not to come home ma, just be at our grand wedding in Hawaii!
No!! a big NO! I won’t miss this one! no matter how simple it is, it’s not about signing that marriage contract, It is not about whether its simple or grand, it’s about witnessing the day you take your bride, stepping to another stage of life, your future and the future of your own family. I was not able to attend your college graduation and a lot of important occasions in your life but I won’t be an absentee on this one 🙂
It was for me a mixed emotions, I am happy you are marrying the love of your life, I am happy that I will have a daughter I call my own but I also feel sad that I will take a second lead in your heart , mom has to step back to give way to your wife. But it was a short sadness, a thought for a second because I know you found a woman who will also take care and love you and accept me as her mom too. Now, I have both of you and of course your brother Kevin. Wow! Our family is getting bigger 🙂
” It is not all just love, I believed there’s more to it than just loved and be loved in return. there must be respect, trust and patience, I promise to give you that”
Yes, love is not enough to become one, marriage is not a security to grow old together , God gave us heart to feel, to love one another, He gave us brain to know what is right and what is wrong, He gave us heart and brain to respect, trust and have patience to one another. Marriage is not all glitters, it has its own flaw, it is a continuous struggles, of hard work to make it through, it is not for one but for the two of you. One should know when to apologized if wrong and one should be accepting and forgiving, whoever is at fault should not forget to straightened out what went wrong. “Sorry” is nothing if you don’t mean it. Both have to give 100 percent of themselves because I believed marriage is not fifty-fifty, you give yourself wholeheartedly and should remained that way.
” being perfectly imperfect,today I commit my life to you, I promise to love you wholeheartedly no matter what”
Photo credit: Ken Mariano
To my dearest Edge and Thea,
Please take care of each other, give your hundred percent to this relationship and may you be blessed with children who would love you the same. I wish you all the best and whatever dream you may have to each own , don’t forget you are a team. Work for “Us” and not for “I”. For being “one” is stronger than being apart. Remember to compliment each other and not to be weary of the flaw of one. Help each other to grow, guide each other and never forget how you started, keep the respect and trust and love will bloom even more.God bless you both!
“If the plan doesn’t work , change the plan but never change the goal”
Yay! October is our lucky month.
Happy birthday to us, my sons and our house 🙂
Yep! Thirty years of working as OFW (overseas Filipino worker), the first thing that comes to mind is to buy a house, and we did! But plan change, the two years contract was extended to thirty years! And the house was rented. Some of the previous tenants were caring, unfortunately, the last one was a tyrant! OMG! , I can’t imagine how they live. We always do repair before a new tenant comes in and we are sure that the last tenant receive the house in good condition. Shocks! The house was not livable when I received it, everything was upside down 🙁
2009 when I became a single parent, a sole provider… it was not planned but reality at times will shocked our nerves and when it hit me, I did not back off, instead I stand firmly , prayed and hope I can passed the difficulties. So many things happened in between, I can tell you it was not easy for all of us but we surpassed the expectation!
I was brave to spent my savings and earning to send my sons to college and they were able to graduate with honors. I was crazy to think I am done after graduation 🙂 Sometimes I would say to myself, It’s ok to be selfish at times, think about when you grow old when you cannot work anymore, no steady income, no pension but I also think what will happen when I go back to Philippines ? No house and no pension, that’s more scary! Time is ticking …it’s a disguise of invisibility..waiting to expire, but no! I won’t be fool by my advancing age, I like to think what I have been through, are my armor to whatever mishap I may have in the near future.
The tuition fees I paid for my two sons to study abroad, I could have bought a big mansion and a nice car but What shall I do with it? Education came as priority. Travel was second, why? Well, I don’t want to wait till I am old and can’t enjoy the scenery because I don’t remember where I was hehehe… talking about being forgetful 🙂 And renovating the house became the last in the list.
Once again, My inner me,.. says renovate the house, but I have no savings left, only my service award for five years.Besides , it’s a conjugal property. I like to file for annulment, actually saving for it. You see the irony in Philippines, We are the only country in the world that doesn’t support divorce and we also don’t have any program for single parent. I can’t file for housing loan, I am two years away of my retirement. The government should look into the predicament of single parent, this is not only to free from their spouse but to get support for education and shelter. There are a lot of separated/divorced couple that supports each other. Why can’t we be broad-minded on this subject for the sake of harmony and stability? Instead of paying a big amount of money to lawyers, spend it to other more important things like sharing for the education of children. However, out of no where, I received a quit claim and the whisper is becoming louder and louder…renovate the house…renovate the house…
Drum roll… here are some photos of before and after renovation!
Renovation 101 🙂
I calculated my service award and I said to myself, just do what is necessary and you will be fine financially.I went home, got my architect/contractor – Arch. Rosario Valezaand discussed what I want for my house.The budget of 1.8 increased to 2.5 M, oh la la la.
Shall I go for it? The inner me… Go!
Alright brave lady, Let’s do it! I talked to my boss to lend me an advanced money but with the economy going down, he cannot promise anything. Luckily, my contractor agreed that I can pay on installment basis. Wow! I am so lucky 🙂 Indeed! She also did a lot of extra work for me without even asking for extra money. Like I sent her to get me the appliances I need from Elba . I am too far away to come every time so she was so kind to extend her helping hand.Hmmm do I really think there’s no extra? Well, of course there will be but she is just so kind to ask and I am taking advantage of it :-)… joke!
Did it went well?
Well, I would say the finished renovation was beautiful compared to the old one but honestly , being far away from home while the house is being renovated is a big stress! Especially when the communication is kind of strange, timing is important, at times, she is free and at times I am not. Having internet is a plus but it is still different when you are there, in the actual site. I’m lucky also that I have my brother Eng. Kelly, who helped me visualized the outcome. Although at times, there was some disagreement between the Engineer and the architect but at the end professionalism works.
Some TIPS on renovating house when your far away from home and with a stretched budget on hand:-)
1. hired a trusted architect/contractor – this will lessen your stress but of course, it should be mutual. She/He should trust you too (financial wise) double wink ** I had some problem in sending remittances, two of the big remittance center in Jeddah was suspended and there’s also limit how much money I can send which shouldn’t exceed my monthly salary. I really appreciate the patience of my contractor.
2. have a concrete plan of what you want to change from the beginning. Think what is your priority. A bigger bathroom? A bigger living room? Pushed everyone to be a part of the plan, even when they say, “Whatever you like mom” still insist on getting what’s in their mind. Don’t start until you get the plan, finalize and start.
3. Get a support from trusted Engineer, friends and family who has experience in building a house. You can get some tips but stick to your liking ,listen and make your own decision.
4. Think what appliances / gadget in the kitchen. This is very important so the cabinets can be adjusted accordingly. I ask a lot of questions from my chef’s son of course 🙂 I rather have a small but equipped kitchen than a big one with too many appliances in disarray.
5. Have an ample allowance to estimate the finishing date, so you don’t end up having double expenses of renting a temporary condo. Plus your excitement will not be overshadowed by frustration because of extra expenses. Remember you still have to furnish the house 🙂
5. Save money from the start even though you’re not thinking of renovating because it comes handy later on. I think it is better to just demolished the old house and start from the scratch.I didn’t dream of a big house, I always like a single detached bungalow.
Cute ..Simple.. and cozy.
6. Have faith, no one can defined one’s vulnerability and difficulties. I believed my courage comes in faith. I am always thankful of any blessings no matter how small it is.
Ladies, I am so proud to say at age 58, I feel fulfilled ,having done my obligation with so much love and passion…oh don’t give me that look!…yeah don’t say I failed in one aspect “marriage” (Please bring down your eyebrow) well, I survived 25 years isn’t it? Besides, It’s a mutual decision, sometimes you just have to let go in order to process the pain and be healed in time.
” Sometimes, falling is not hard if you know how to get up with grace..What is important..stand firmed and hit your goal”
Drum roll again! Life is beautiful 🙂
Oh, I forgot to mention ,say hello to our new fam member “Arya” the puppy 🙂
Eighteen years ago, I could not imagine how my life would be without you on my side. Since you were born, you gave us the moments, the high points, it doesn’t matter how you make me cry, how you gave me that expressions of “knowing it all”, how you utter those words, “of being alone most of the time, of not being there when you needed me”, I knew it was just a transition of adolescence to an independent young adult (somehow, a mixed emotions) and how you always differ or argue to my views.. you always get away with your antics of “hit and miss” but in my heart I knew, you are the person who always stick to what you believes in and not easily be persuaded unless the circumstances has been patiently explained. You are the kindest person that a friend could ever have, always supportive and caring.
I always remember the first: first time you look at us and smile, first time to roll, walk and run, first time to talk, first time to go to school, first baseball game, first dance, and first girlfriend. How about the last time? Yes, I also remember the last time: last time you gave me flowers and b-day notes, last time you slept in my room, last time you were in the honor roll, last time you hug and kissed me in front of your classmates. If I am going to write all the first and last time, words are not enough, because I remember all the moments and highlights of your existence.
We have experienced a roller coaster of emotions, the ups and downs of life…the transitions of growing up, of being a family of different addresses and now you are embarking to another chapter, another highlight, another summit and I know, the path is not as easy as it may seem. But hey! I trust you and it’s always proven when Kevin wants Kevin gets! (Wink)When Kevin said he will do it, he will with flying colors(another wink).
Letting go is not always easy but I know your new-found independence is a bittersweet moments for me, believe it or not, I haven’t visited your empty room yet, I don’t want to feel your absence. You know how happy I am for you to be in that position; this is the most significance steps in your life that I don’t want to miss and rest assured you will always be on my thoughts and prayers.
So my dear Kevin, I wish you good health and may you have more birthdays to come and more summits to climb, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, Happy happy birthday!